I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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