i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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