Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Floor bacon is actually really good
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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