No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
