this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
