found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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