He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
