the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
