He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
