How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize