Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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