I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
