He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
