I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
