Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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