do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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