you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
