On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
