I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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