I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
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Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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