The maid of honor just puked.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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