# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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