You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize