you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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