Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i drank out of a bidet.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I need moral support for this bender
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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