Where did you get a picture of my penis
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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