I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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