THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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