Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
