we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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