We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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