I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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