sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
