What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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