But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
