i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
