The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize