oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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