just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
