Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up