If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"