On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️