please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.