You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
