are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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