my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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