too bad you live with your parents still
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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