my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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