After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.