were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful