He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"