I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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