i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
