CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
