Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
