Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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