Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
