just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize