Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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