shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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