dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
