there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
