hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
