I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
